Year in review 2019

Earlier this year, my director removed himself from his position, taking a much less stressful role and paycut. I was really inspired by it. And my mom wondered how I end up around people that I [as a downer] can relate to. Anyways, the inspiration didn’t trigger me to escape anything. My manager became the effective director and I the effective lead of my team. Wasn’t looking for additional stress, but it is what it is.

Going into this year, many of my relationships have been and continue to be on the rocks. I usually say that my friends are very dramatic. But I honestly admit that, this year, it has been me who has been the most dramatic with all my mood swings and communication issues. Boy oh boy, did the communication issues become a major issue in my personal life this year! Things are calming down a lot now that I have slowly started to remove myself from the social scenes again. I am slowly working on regaining some calmness.  It still feels hard to go on quite a lot on a day to day basis.

I started regularly working out back in February in my condo gym. Which for me is a HUGE change. But work got excessively stressful prior to my summer vacation to Portugal and Spain and I have not gone back to the gym ever since. Also, I nearly picked up smoking over the summer. I bought many packs, made promises not to buy another, got stressed out and bought one anyways. It has stopped now. Definitely not a smoker… YET.

Couple of my favourite people are leaving Toronto for a while this year. And everyone says I had some contribution to making it happen. No, I did not annoy them into leaving the city, I helped with job opportunities. A big part of this year has been about that. I kept telling them if the job opportunity panned out, it would be one of the best things that would happen to them, while in my head, losing them seems like one of the worst things that can happen to me. But oh well, life must go on.

I have developed pain that is taking a turn to the chronic side. Although it doesn’t really compare to some of the things that emotionally scarred me this year. The pain started with my elbow, now spreading to my arm and shoulder. My mom thinks it’s from carrying heavy groceries. I think I have been working long hours without break with my hands in the same position. It is likely a combination of both. Oh, also, the knitting and crocheting. That is also stressing my arm. That is probably the thing that I will miss the most. I love knitting and obsessed with yarns. I have stocked up way too much that I need to go through.

I have finally got rid of the remnants of a dead orchid that my sister gave me for my birthday couple of years back. It’s funny, since I barely go into the office, my teammates visiting from other locations often use my desk and leave comments on my board about it. My team has also relocated for probably like the 4th time. And I have carried that board around everywhere. Some of those messages bring back a lot of memories. Feels nice.

Oh, I was delighted to find deactivation option on instagram and I was very annoyed that after the browser accidentally logged me in using my saved password, I had to wait for a whole week before I could deactivate again. I am also extremely irritated that I am not able to deactivate my backup facebook account because of an app that I still need to transfer to someone else.


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